Mojito Madness

I feel it my duty to pass along my recent discovery. It is this:
1) Mint grows like a wild thing if left alone.
2) If it is to be tamed at all, you must find something to do with the mint.
3) We do not own any silver glasses and I think you cannot properly drink a mint julep without one. So, those are out.
4) Mojitos are curiously refreshing and delicious and no one cares what you drink them out of.

Mojito Recipe (if you have a better one, please pass along)

1) Take cup of choice. With a mortar and pestle, smoosh up some mint leaves (fresh, of course). Don't get really hung up on the number of leaves. By the time you have a few of these, you'll be going old school and just throwing a bunch of stuff in the glass anyway. If you like mint, start with about 6-8 leaves and add to taste. If you don't, go with four. Dump smooshed leaves in cup.

2) Put some powdered sugar on top of the mint smoosh and mix it up. Here's where you can ad lib a bit. The powdered sugar was making me a little crazy. It doesn't blend well and I really wished I had some simple syrup instead. Then, a friend pointed out that we could just add a bit of rasberry coffee syrup to it (not coffee flavored, but the kind they add to the coffee to make it slightly rasberry flavored) and probably sweeten it and make it extra delicious at the same time. She was right. So, go with the powdered sugar if you happen to be a real rules follower. Otherwise, do what works for you.

3) Throw some lime juice on top. Fresh limes if you can at all swing it. The lime juice from concentrate gets the job done alright, but nothing beats the fresh. Go with juice from about one lime. You can add later if you want to.

4) Add rum. You can figure this out by yourself.

5) Top with club soda. Toss a lime slice on the top as resort-wear.

Whoever invented this drink was a genius.

Don't these make you want a baby boy?

These are what I splurged on today for Red Fish. I decided that, although he seems to be not-so-into foowear, I couldn't very well have us going off on a two week vaca with no shoes for the baby, could I? They're Wee Squeaks and they have a little squeaker in the sole of them so that they squeak with every tentative step he takes. Absolutely adorable!! They are either going to sell the whole walking concept to him completely or totally shut it down so that I will be carrying around his fat little self until he's 6. I'll let you know.

Nine Years Ago Today

Happy Anniversary, Mr. Scientist Man. I gotta tell you- if I had known then what I know now...

we'd be celebrating a number higher than nine. I love you!

Happy Anniversary to you, too, Mom and Dad!

A Letter to Tila (whoever she is)

Dear Tila (Tequila?)

We are not acquainted. At all. In fact, I cannot figure out who you are or why you have your own TV dating show. My husband says that you are famous because you have a lot of friends on MySpace or Facebook or something. That seems like sort of an unlikely reason to be famous, so I will just continue to be confused.

In any case, I was introduced to you this evening. I really had better things to watch and do this evening, but got blindsided by the train wreck that is your life and I couldn't tear myself away. I will try to be more conservative in my channel flipping in the future and will attempt to stay far, far away from anything that indicates brain rot in the title. But, no sense crying about it now. What's done is done and I'd like to move on. But I can't, Tila. I can't because there are a few things I need to say in order to get some closure.

First of all- Tequila? This is your choice for a last name? Girlfriend... I know that by your standards I am probably a blue hair. Old as the hills. But, some things don't change. And if you are looking for love, there is nothing about tequila that is going to help you find it. Tequila has been a heartbreaker for as long as it has been around. Trust me. I don't care what your name used to be. "Unahalekakah" is a better last name than "Tequila." Change it immediately (to just about anything) and I guarantee that your life will start to improve that very second. If you are still struggling and can honestly not think of a better last name than "Tequila" here is a good rule of life: in meeting strangers for the first time and in coming up with alternate last names for yourself, stay away from the three Bs. Bible, Booze and Boys.

Now that we're done with the absurd last name, let's get to what I found most troubling about our meeting last night. Tila, it seems that your dating show followed the script of most other dating shows. You stay in a house with a bajillion other people who are all groveling for you and you "date" them and eliminate them until you find the right one. In the finale, you're supposed to announce to the lucky winner that you will be spending your lives together. And then the two of you walk off into the sunset. There are many (oh so, so, so many) reasons that this scenario in general is a problem. But, you, Tila, had even bigger problems because you put a few twists into your show and it appears that the finale got twisted on you. The lucky winner rejected you. Turned you right down.

You were humiliated and horrified. Understandably. But, then you had to utter the words that made me sit up in bed and straighten my cotton pajamas. You asked /wailed, "Whyyyyyyy." Just like that. And I knew right then that we had to sever our 10 minute old relationship. Tila, if you honestly cannot figure out why you cannot find "true love" on a dating show where men and women alike compete for your affections and beat each other up, make asses of themselves and then snog you in front of each other, then we are always going to have communication issues. I know it's so tempting because Brett Michaels did it (are you old enough to even know who he is?). But, he had to make two attempts before he found his "Rock of Love" and he only had one gender to worry about. You gotta keep it simple, know what I mean?

So, last night was a one time thing. I will not be making any more visits. I know it seems to be a double standard because when Brett and his woman eventually break up and Rock of Love 3 airs, I will be tuned in. But, Brett has a tangible reason to be famous AND he takes me back to my callow youth, as unappealing as that may sound.

You just make me feel old and intolerant. Know what I mean?

Actually, it's Holy Green Beans, Batman!

Here are some picts of the garden. I really think it needs a good name. Just like palacial estates have names, this garden needs a name that it is fitting for the glorious plot of fertile earth that it is. Any ideas?

And here's how you know that truly, in my heart, I really am a dork: I have gone outside to take pictures every morning of my green bean plants. I planted them from seed and the disciples watching Jesus do his walking on water thing couldn't have been more surprised than I to see those little sprouts come up from the earth just 5 days after they were put in there. Shocked, I tell you. Not that they were coming up after 5 days, but that they were coming up at all. I think that I am amusing Mother Nature this week with my lack of faith because the pumpkin seeds and squash seeds sprouted just days later.

In other news, Two Fish broke a board with his foot yesterday in kung fu (not The Other Place).

Everyone take cover.

Raise your hand if you can say "Oedipus"

Last night, The Scientist and I were headed out to enjoy an overpriced sushi dinner and the movie Hancock. Our ninth anniversary warranted such, don't you think? Actually, our anniversary isn't until the 10th, but my neighbor was volunteering to babysit on the 5th, not the 10th and you know what they say about beggars, right? Two Fish was extremely unhappy about this activity. You see, he had spent the entire day with The Scientist doing whatever boys do on Saturdays. My guess was that he was so very unhappy because I was stealing his adored father away and he had been hoping that his little testosterone-fest would last into the night.

I finally worked the Mommy-Magic and got him dressed in a favorite shirt and headed over to movie night at my neighbor's house. I came back to shower and get dressed like a grown up. Thirty minutes later, I was dressed in grown-up clothes and even had on jewelry and wedge heels. We dropped a bag with jammies in it next door before we headed out. All three fishies ran to give me a kiss before I backed out the door, threatening bodily harm if anyone touched their spaghetti face on my white linen pants.

This morning the following conversation occurs:
Two Fish- Mommy, I bet you were jealous of the girls last night.

Me- Oh, yeah? Why is that?

Two Fish- Because I was wearing that shirt and you love to see me in that shirt!!

Me- Oh, yes, you're right. I was very jealous!

Two Fish- But, it's OK if you were jealous.

Me- Yep, I guess we're all jealous of something sometime, aren't we?

Two Fish- Yes, like I was jealous of Daddy last night because he got to go out with you and you were so pretty and fancy and he got to go out with you instead of me go out with you, right?

Me- That's right, darling boy.


And that, ladies, is why it's good to have at least one boy.

My Mother-of-the-Year Application is now complete

We're entertaining tomorrow. I refuse to mop my kitchen floor until tomorrow about 30 min. before they arrive. Except that I just had to because it was so disgusting. The intent of that little anectdote is not to emphasize how anal and clean I am, but to demonstrate how completely disgusting the floor was. Totally gross.

As part of the prep for tomorrow's festivities and as a way to keep them busy and out of my hair, the Fishies are cleaning. Not Redfish, though. He's just splashing in the tub. The "playroom" they are cleaning is actually more of an extension of our patio, although it is enclosed and I think is technically considered a sunroom. It is one of our rooms that gets dangerously messy because we tend to just shut the door and pretend it isn't out there. If we ever get around to the addition we have been meaning to put on the house, that room will be the first to go. Iwant it torn off the house and replaced completely. I know, I know, destruction+ construction costs more than just construction. But, I don't care. I even saw that as a silver lining right after hurricane Katrina. I was just sure that the damn thing had blown clear off the house. It was obviously an afterthought when this house was built. Oh, no such luck. The damn thing is apparently built like the proverbial poop house and was standing there in all its crappy glory when we returned. I even had the kids excited about going to buy more toys. I was that sure it was gone.

Anyway, I have cracked the whip and given them one hour to get it straightened (they could have it done in about 20 if they wanted to). Anything not in its place after an hour is MINE. How's that for cutting edge parenting?