Tuesday, October 28, 2008

No Title Needed

It's confirmed. There have been rumors for weeks, no, years, actually. We have all been hoping. Praying, to be more accurate. We have speculted, gossiped and spread rumors about it. This morning, the paper published it in black and white and it is better than any of us could have imagined.

We are getting a Target.

I'll let that sink in for a moment...

If you live near one (or three), you are still trying to understand how someone lives in a place without one. If you are like me and you live in one of the three remaining places in the free world without one, you're trying to figure out right now how you can get here before opening day (Fall 2009, if you're interested).

In addition and in the same location we are also getting a Michael's, a Kohl's and a Marshall's. There are other stores being added that have The Scientist all wound up but that I don't give a hoot about. Best Buy among them. Who cares, as long as a Target is front and center?

No, it is not going to be a Supertarget. This is actually a blessing because if it was, it would be overwhelming for us all and we probably would have needed pharmaceutical help to handle the excitement. Baby steps, please...

Sunday, October 26, 2008


The Bee Hive tagged me awhile back and I'm just now tagging it forward.

Seven Strange Facts About Me

1) I love marshmallow peeps. I know this is not normal.

2) I gave birth to my two older children sans epidural. The first was 9lbs. 6oz., the next was 10lbs. 6oz. Yes, it was by choice. Yes, I tried something a little different the third time around.
No comments on this one, please. I am still dealing with the PTSD. Kidding. Kind of...

3) I was accepted into the Peace Corp after college and even assigned to a continent. It is a long process.

4) I cringe when I hear people say that "so and so is someone THAT" instead of "so and so is someone WHO." Major pet peeve.

5) I have no depth perception.

6) I used to own a ball python. His name was Jake the Snake. Beat that on the weird scale...

7) I have tried for years to sew and I can't. Bottom line.

I'm tagging:

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

It's a Good Thing He's Cute

Two Fish needs to watch his step. He's treading on thin ice this week.

Yesterday he informed me that he has decided NOT to be the lion or the tin man for Halloween. This is a problem since One Fish has The Most Darling Dorothy costume and will tote a Toto stuffed animal and a decorative scarecrow in the wagon. Red Fish and Two Fish are supposed to complete the ensemble cast by being the tin man and the lion. I agreed to be the wicked witch only if they are good between now and then. This is big since I do not dress up. Ever. The last time I dressed up for Halloween it was as a pregnant girlscout (obviously pre-Scientist and definitely pre-baby). It was to go to a rockin' bar party in Five Points. Nothing since then, though.

But, now he says that he has decided against this plan. Instead he's going to be either one of the flying monkeys from the movie or... Gene Simmons.

Then, today, I pick him up from preschool, in my not-pulled-together-mommy-costume with several ingredients on my shirt from morning cooking projects necessary for this week to end well and he says...

"Hey! Mommy, I thought you said you were going to change out of your jammies before you picked me up!"

He needs to watch it.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Stop the Madness

The madness is going to stop. I am going to learn to feed my chilren's mother well balanced and nutritious meals and not just feed her the scraps off their plates if it kills me (and it probably won't). If whole grains are important for them to eat, then surely they are important for me to eat too. I will stop looking at the price tags of the best, most nutritious, least processed foods and weighing in my head whether or not it is "worth it." It is.

I will stop considering diet soda one of the major food groups.

I will start to think of my daily vitamin as essential to our family's well-being.

I will stop getting on the scale and raising my eyebrows. I might just throw the scale away. Who cares what I weigh as long as I feel good?

I will foster my love of cooking. I will drink red wine while I'm going it.

I will buy exotic, fresh ingredients at the grocery and learn to use them. Doesn't it seem appropriate to get all Euro and just say "at the market" or "at the grocery" when talking about exotic, fresh ingredients instead of "I'll buy exotic fresh ingredients at Walmart?" Walmart and exotic don't seem to go together. At all.

I will cook vegetables I love and will learn to cook them well. I will discover new ones I didn't even know I liked. Or that existed, for that matter. I will eat lots of them. I will encourage my family to do the same.

This fish tank is getting an upgrade...

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

He Says, She Says

He says:

"I had Columbus day off. She came in about 8AM, arms flapping, going on about something that didn't seem to have an immediate point. 'Just give me the short version', I said. 'Do you want to me take Two Fish to school or what'? Turns out, that's all she needed me to do. I got going (much earlier than I had planned) and took him to school, glad I could help her out this morning."

She says:

"Wild morning on Columbus day. As usual, the fishy's schedules conflicted and I had to get warm pigs in a blanket up to One Fish's school at exactly the same time I needed to be dropping off Two Fish at preschool. Just being a little late to either wasn't a viable option in this instance.

I could have brought the pigs in a blanket early to the school, but I was notsomuch being the planner this particular morning and realized too late in the game that I was not going to be able to pull it off.

Luckily He was off on Columbus Day. I wake him and explain my scheduling issue. Perhaps I gave too many details. But, if I was going to be yanked out of bed on my morning off, I'd want to know exactly what the deal was, wouldn't you? 'Just give me the short version,' he grouches, 'Are you saying you need me to take Two Fish to school?'

Yes, Einstein. That would be helpful.

So, he gets his rear in gear, motivates Two Fish to do the same, and 10 minutes later, they are out the door.

Mere moments after they leave, I, too, am out the door. Red Fish on one hip, basket of pigs-in-a-blanket with seasonal linen handtowel tucked around them in the other hand. Dangling from one finger is a bag with the "trinkets" I was to bring for One Fish to pass out to the other "super readers" in her class. Another finger held the lunchbox she forgot.

I schlep myself out the door with just enough time to get the appropriate items to the appropriate classes at the appropriate time. Upon my arrival in the driveway, I find...

No Van In The Driveway.

He has taken the $%^# van. He HAS TAKEN THE #$%^ VAN!! With my keys. With my cell phone. With my pocketbook and wallet.

I call him on his cell-phone. It rings on the kitchen counter. I call him on my cell phone. He answers.

'You are killing me here!'

'Whaaaahhhh...??? Whadidoo? You said take him to school. I'm taking him to school, right?'

Fast forward 5 minutes...
Red Fish is cozy in his big red wagon. I am pulling said wagon up to the school (in the interest of full disclosure, I must note that it isn't really very far).

We both have a pig in a blanket in each hand.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

(Almost) wordless Wednesday

One Fish's actual birthday and birthday cake.

Yes, I made it.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

I bet it was one of those TEENAGERS

So, I'm on my way to snag Two Fish from school today. It's pick-up time in town and the soccer mommies are out in force. I pull up next to one about to turn down the road with one of our three elementary schools on it. She's in character. Low-maintenance Mommy-do, big sunglasses, cell phone to ear and carseat in the backseat of the wagon. A somewhat dirty wagon. Not terrible, but obviously a wagon that spends its free time in a driveway surrounded by very fertile trees. You know that's what pollen is, right? Tree sex parts? Judging from the back windshield of our soccer mommy's car, the trees near her house were very, very sexy. And she's just oblivious to it all, scooting over to get the kiddos from school in the tree-sex mobile. How do I know she was oblivious, you ask?

Well, because into all that pollen on the back windshield, someone had written in big letters with their finger:

" I wish my girlfriend was this dirty."

Bless her heart...