I always say that if someone is going to be sick in our house, it better not be me. When it rains it pours. I started puking (thanks for the gift from preschool, Two Fish!) at midnight and One Fish joined me around 3AM.
The Scientist has taken the day off given that I have no fluids left in my body. He evidently doubts how well I'll be able to mother when I seem to be having a challenge sitting upright.
I have no news about The Pervert. If Olivia calls, you'll be the first to know.
Ohhh. How sad that this is my 100th post! Ick!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Go, Olivia, Go!
I just talked to "Olivia" (not her real name, but read the previous posts and you'll know who I mean). Here's what we know today:
1) She has agreed to take my calls whenever I call, even upon my disclosure that I may be calling twice a day. I gave her permission to only take my calls once/day if she has other important stuff to do (like catch bad guys). She can put me on a MWF schedule if need be. I won't be offended.
2) There was another employee in the bathroom at the time of the incident.
3) On the surface this seems creepy, but it could be a blessing. Based upon when the other person entered the restroom, it does not appear that he was in on anything. He could also be a witness.
4) We need prayers that he is a witness since "Olivia" needs either a witness or a confession in order to prove anything.
5) She knows exactly where to find "the bad guy" and the potential witness. They will be contacted today. I assume the potential witness will be contacted first.
6) This thing will be very hard to prove since it took place in a private restroom and the only report is from a five year old (she didn't say the five year old part, but I infered).
7) Without some other evidence (like another witness) they don't have enough right now to get the cell phone or any other hardware that may be involved.
8) She is actually happy with how well pieces are falling into place and hopes to call me to report an arrest today. She is evidently more optimistic than I am.
9) I think the guy has been fired and other stores have already been notified. Duh.
10) If he isn't arrested, I will be disclosing a first name and detailed description to anyone I know!
So, pray that this potential witness is actually that. As "Olivia" said, "I would hope that if I were in a restroom and saw someone climbing over a stall, I would notice." But, if he did notice, why didn't he say anything? I am hoping for a miracle, but not expecting one.
1) She has agreed to take my calls whenever I call, even upon my disclosure that I may be calling twice a day. I gave her permission to only take my calls once/day if she has other important stuff to do (like catch bad guys). She can put me on a MWF schedule if need be. I won't be offended.
2) There was another employee in the bathroom at the time of the incident.
3) On the surface this seems creepy, but it could be a blessing. Based upon when the other person entered the restroom, it does not appear that he was in on anything. He could also be a witness.
4) We need prayers that he is a witness since "Olivia" needs either a witness or a confession in order to prove anything.
5) She knows exactly where to find "the bad guy" and the potential witness. They will be contacted today. I assume the potential witness will be contacted first.
6) This thing will be very hard to prove since it took place in a private restroom and the only report is from a five year old (she didn't say the five year old part, but I infered).
7) Without some other evidence (like another witness) they don't have enough right now to get the cell phone or any other hardware that may be involved.
8) She is actually happy with how well pieces are falling into place and hopes to call me to report an arrest today. She is evidently more optimistic than I am.
9) I think the guy has been fired and other stores have already been notified. Duh.
10) If he isn't arrested, I will be disclosing a first name and detailed description to anyone I know!
So, pray that this potential witness is actually that. As "Olivia" said, "I would hope that if I were in a restroom and saw someone climbing over a stall, I would notice." But, if he did notice, why didn't he say anything? I am hoping for a miracle, but not expecting one.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Insert song from CHIPS here
The report has been filed. The police were here for an hour and a half. One guy showed up and spent the first five minutes questioning me and why I didn't call this in yesterday (Hello?!? Have you ever tried to get a complete story from a five year old?). Finally, I got him to listen to me long enough to get my whole story out. Snap, the notebook closes. Swish, the magic folder opens. Slap, the official police report form lands on my dining room table. We had made a breakthrough.
An hour later, his sergeant has been called. We have a case number. A detective arrived at my house. She could have been from central casting for Law and Order. Tall, gorgeous, tight but tasteful clothing, sweet as pie and on her way to view security video at The Store a short 30 minutes after entering our home. When the police officer let her in, I heard him say to her, "Very nice family. Easy to work with." Ahhhh. It was good to hear that I was no longer the suspicious wacky mom.
There is no doubt in their minds that criminal activity took place. If nothing else, there is a voyeur on the loose! Who but a "weirdy" (as Two Fish would say) would peek over bathroom stalls at little kids? And with a cell phone in hand? I smell a pervert (and more importantly, so do the police.)
This saga is going to take me right over the top of the 100 post goal, I can tell.
PS- for anyone concerned with my lack of mention of Two Fish's mental health, I will simply say that the most upset he's been through this whole thing is when he realized that he wasn't going to get to tell the police his side of the story. Apparently, the only law enforcement who questions kids are investigators trained to talk to children. So they don't inadvertently put any ideas in their heads or anything.
An hour later, his sergeant has been called. We have a case number. A detective arrived at my house. She could have been from central casting for Law and Order. Tall, gorgeous, tight but tasteful clothing, sweet as pie and on her way to view security video at The Store a short 30 minutes after entering our home. When the police officer let her in, I heard him say to her, "Very nice family. Easy to work with." Ahhhh. It was good to hear that I was no longer the suspicious wacky mom.
There is no doubt in their minds that criminal activity took place. If nothing else, there is a voyeur on the loose! Who but a "weirdy" (as Two Fish would say) would peek over bathroom stalls at little kids? And with a cell phone in hand? I smell a pervert (and more importantly, so do the police.)
This saga is going to take me right over the top of the 100 post goal, I can tell.
PS- for anyone concerned with my lack of mention of Two Fish's mental health, I will simply say that the most upset he's been through this whole thing is when he realized that he wasn't going to get to tell the police his side of the story. Apparently, the only law enforcement who questions kids are investigators trained to talk to children. So they don't inadvertently put any ideas in their heads or anything.
Life would be much more delightful without perverts
So, this post should generate some comments.
Yesterday at a large chain store I don't want to name but that sells just about anything under the sun and which is the only place in town to get...well, anything, I was confronted with a struggle I am often confronted with. Do you let the five year old little boy go into the boy's restroom by himself, or do you make him go into the ladies with you? Yesterday, I succumbed to exhaustion and hubris and compromised. I let him go in, but lurked just outside the door. I did see one guy go in, but he was an employee. I thought nothing of it. Soon, Two Fish came out.
The story he relayed to me will be enough to ensure that you never let your fishies visit the male restroom alone until they are either old enough to drink legally or have a black belt in something dangerous-sounding. Whatever comes first.
Two Fish went into a stall to do his business. There are urinals in there, but I think he's more comfortable in a stall because it offers some privacy and looks much more like his comforts of home. He tells me that he was "going" and looked up to find a man hanging over the TOP of the stall, with his arm and cell-phone dangling down and pointed at his crotch! Two Fish has never made up anything kooky like this before. He also delivered this story immediately upon coming out of the restroom while he huddled against me and cast his eyes around as if to see if he could see the weirdo. He also tells me that he "knows" the man took a picture. Now really, there is no way he could know this for sure. I asked him if he saw a picture of himself on the phone or if he heard a click or saw a flash. He couldn't say for sure. But, he does take camera-phone pictures with The Scientists phone, so he might actually be better suited than, say, my grandmother, to determine if a picture was taken. But, he is five...
As he is telling me this story, the employee I saw go in appeared at the water fountain beside us. He cut into our conversation and began asking questions of Two Fish. Does he take martial arts (he was in his kung fu outfit) and a few other questions and comments I couldn't identify because, quite frankly, he was acting very strange and was hard to understand. When he walked away, I asked Two Fish if he was the man. He answered an emphatic, "No."
We went over to check out and 5 minutes later, as we were paying, a manager came through and asked our cashier where "[insert weird waterfountain man's name here]" was. Our cashier looked puzzled and said that he left to go to the restroom, but he hadn't seen him since and that maybe he decided to go on break instead. It registered dimly with me then that this was the same man who talked to us at the waterfountain and who I'd blown off because I thought he was weird and because he was interupting a very important conversation between my son and me. I had seen his nametag with that name, I was sure of it.
That night (last night) after dinner, One and Two Fish were talking amongst themselves. I was eavesdropping (sort of. I was washing dishes and could hear them). A minute later, One Fish summons me and announces that Two Fish has something he needs to tell me. He admits that weird waterfountain man was the one who looked at him in the stall and then ducked back down when he saw him glance up, but that he hadn't wanted to tell me because he was afraid I would go over right then to talk to the man (oh, how he does know his mama well...).
All the pieces start to fall into place. Two Fish has never waivered in his insistence that the man took a picture of him. He has demonstrated to me with props how the man leaned over the stall, where his hands were, how he was holding the phone, etc. He even said that it is fine with him if he doesn't go into the men's bathroom anymore by himself. Poor little guy even asked for some Purell after we got home because he said he hadn't even washed his hands when he was finished. He said he just looked to see if the bad man had a gun and then ran out. A gun?! But then I realized that in his little five year old mind, taking a picture of someone in the bathroom was so wrong that this might just be the kind of person who would also have a gun!
The Scientist has called the police. I'll let you know what happens.
Yesterday at a large chain store I don't want to name but that sells just about anything under the sun and which is the only place in town to get...well, anything, I was confronted with a struggle I am often confronted with. Do you let the five year old little boy go into the boy's restroom by himself, or do you make him go into the ladies with you? Yesterday, I succumbed to exhaustion and hubris and compromised. I let him go in, but lurked just outside the door. I did see one guy go in, but he was an employee. I thought nothing of it. Soon, Two Fish came out.
The story he relayed to me will be enough to ensure that you never let your fishies visit the male restroom alone until they are either old enough to drink legally or have a black belt in something dangerous-sounding. Whatever comes first.
Two Fish went into a stall to do his business. There are urinals in there, but I think he's more comfortable in a stall because it offers some privacy and looks much more like his comforts of home. He tells me that he was "going" and looked up to find a man hanging over the TOP of the stall, with his arm and cell-phone dangling down and pointed at his crotch! Two Fish has never made up anything kooky like this before. He also delivered this story immediately upon coming out of the restroom while he huddled against me and cast his eyes around as if to see if he could see the weirdo. He also tells me that he "knows" the man took a picture. Now really, there is no way he could know this for sure. I asked him if he saw a picture of himself on the phone or if he heard a click or saw a flash. He couldn't say for sure. But, he does take camera-phone pictures with The Scientists phone, so he might actually be better suited than, say, my grandmother, to determine if a picture was taken. But, he is five...
As he is telling me this story, the employee I saw go in appeared at the water fountain beside us. He cut into our conversation and began asking questions of Two Fish. Does he take martial arts (he was in his kung fu outfit) and a few other questions and comments I couldn't identify because, quite frankly, he was acting very strange and was hard to understand. When he walked away, I asked Two Fish if he was the man. He answered an emphatic, "No."
We went over to check out and 5 minutes later, as we were paying, a manager came through and asked our cashier where "[insert weird waterfountain man's name here]" was. Our cashier looked puzzled and said that he left to go to the restroom, but he hadn't seen him since and that maybe he decided to go on break instead. It registered dimly with me then that this was the same man who talked to us at the waterfountain and who I'd blown off because I thought he was weird and because he was interupting a very important conversation between my son and me. I had seen his nametag with that name, I was sure of it.
That night (last night) after dinner, One and Two Fish were talking amongst themselves. I was eavesdropping (sort of. I was washing dishes and could hear them). A minute later, One Fish summons me and announces that Two Fish has something he needs to tell me. He admits that weird waterfountain man was the one who looked at him in the stall and then ducked back down when he saw him glance up, but that he hadn't wanted to tell me because he was afraid I would go over right then to talk to the man (oh, how he does know his mama well...).
All the pieces start to fall into place. Two Fish has never waivered in his insistence that the man took a picture of him. He has demonstrated to me with props how the man leaned over the stall, where his hands were, how he was holding the phone, etc. He even said that it is fine with him if he doesn't go into the men's bathroom anymore by himself. Poor little guy even asked for some Purell after we got home because he said he hadn't even washed his hands when he was finished. He said he just looked to see if the bad man had a gun and then ran out. A gun?! But then I realized that in his little five year old mind, taking a picture of someone in the bathroom was so wrong that this might just be the kind of person who would also have a gun!
The Scientist has called the police. I'll let you know what happens.
Sunday, September 7, 2008
Five to Go...
I have five posts to go before I hit 100! It really doesn't seem like I've had that much to say (and many may argue that I haven't).
My mom is gone. Which means that I actually have to parent and keep house again. Damn.
We took her to the airport this morning at 4:45. Absurd, I know. I have evidently been living right because so far none of the fishies has fallen to the ground in a feet kicking tantrum, managed to take a nap or stabbed a sibling in the eye. All possibilities after going to bed at 10 and waking up at 4:45. The nap thing sounds counterintuitive, but in another strange twist of child-rearing logic, if a child of mine takes a one hour nap to make up for missing 4 hours of sleep the night before, said child will not be able to fall asleep that night until 3 hours past their regular bedtime. It's got to be the new math- I know it's confusing.
Since I haven't had to referee too many arguments today, I have kicked some serious tail in the kitchen. Why do I not have a meat-eating husband to take advantage of my kitchen genius? We're having: Yummy Crockpot Chicken (recipe to follow- no idea what it's called but you need to do it PRONTO. Trust me...), fried okra (no, of course I didn't get it from a bag. Or Walmart), collard greens (yes, of course I know the fishes won't be touching them. But I will), lima beans (because they will touch those), watermelon, pumpkin pie (where else but here can you eat watermelon and pumpkin pie in the same meal? It seems sort of wrong, doesn't it?).
Here's the recipe for the chicken yumminess. You're just going to have to trust me here because it's going to sound too odd for words:
Into a crockpot, dump a can of jellied cranberry sauce (you know, the nasty kind that slides out of the can and still holds its shape?) into a crockpot. Sprinkle a packet of dry onion soup mix over that. Add poultry of your choice. I use chicken breasts or a turkey breast. Add some big ol' chunks of carrot if your family is into that sort of thing. We have a few who are and a few who aren't. Turn that puppy on and let her go. Stir it every now and then just to get the juices over the chicken. You'll think it looks too soupy. It isn't.
My mom is gone. Which means that I actually have to parent and keep house again. Damn.
We took her to the airport this morning at 4:45. Absurd, I know. I have evidently been living right because so far none of the fishies has fallen to the ground in a feet kicking tantrum, managed to take a nap or stabbed a sibling in the eye. All possibilities after going to bed at 10 and waking up at 4:45. The nap thing sounds counterintuitive, but in another strange twist of child-rearing logic, if a child of mine takes a one hour nap to make up for missing 4 hours of sleep the night before, said child will not be able to fall asleep that night until 3 hours past their regular bedtime. It's got to be the new math- I know it's confusing.
Since I haven't had to referee too many arguments today, I have kicked some serious tail in the kitchen. Why do I not have a meat-eating husband to take advantage of my kitchen genius? We're having: Yummy Crockpot Chicken (recipe to follow- no idea what it's called but you need to do it PRONTO. Trust me...), fried okra (no, of course I didn't get it from a bag. Or Walmart), collard greens (yes, of course I know the fishes won't be touching them. But I will), lima beans (because they will touch those), watermelon, pumpkin pie (where else but here can you eat watermelon and pumpkin pie in the same meal? It seems sort of wrong, doesn't it?).
Here's the recipe for the chicken yumminess. You're just going to have to trust me here because it's going to sound too odd for words:
Into a crockpot, dump a can of jellied cranberry sauce (you know, the nasty kind that slides out of the can and still holds its shape?) into a crockpot. Sprinkle a packet of dry onion soup mix over that. Add poultry of your choice. I use chicken breasts or a turkey breast. Add some big ol' chunks of carrot if your family is into that sort of thing. We have a few who are and a few who aren't. Turn that puppy on and let her go. Stir it every now and then just to get the juices over the chicken. You'll think it looks too soupy. It isn't.
Friday, September 5, 2008
Lame
Since my mom is here, I've been very busy not cleaning, not caring for my own children, not making snacks for the children and not doing anything very productive in general. Except cooking for my children lest we starve. Mom eats like a freak. Mom, you know it's true. Wheat germ mixed with soymilk does not a lunch make. But, maybe that's just me.
I'm struggling with blog fodder. But, I am a sucker for these e-mail forwards:
1. What time did you get up this morning? Red Fish got up at 5:45. Jerk.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Seriously, let me be in a position at some point in my life to be THAT picky...
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Does an IMAX at the children's museum count?
4. What is your favorite TV show? Numbers
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Leftovers
6. What food do you dislike? Strange and unidentifiable meat items
7. Favorite sandwich? Name it. I could live on them...
8. Favorite item of clothing? Flip flops. Almost any and almost all.
9. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Greece, for no apparent reason. It just sounds good. And, I identify with that bookish girl on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Because I'm a dork like that.
10. Where would you retire to? A little slice of heaven called Clemson...
11. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 30th rocked. Unfortunately, it was 5 birthdays ago...
12. Favorite sport to watch? Clemson football
13. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning!
14. What is your shoe size? "In any good shoe I wear a 7, but an 8 feels so good, I usually buy a 9"
15. Pets? Sob...sob...gasp...sob...
16. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? The Scientist did indeed get the raise. Thanks for the good mojo on that, ladies!
17. What is your favorite candy? dark chocolate anything. The good stuff too...
18. What is your favorite flower? Whatever gets brought to my door in the vase or box
19. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? The day The Scientist returns
20. What are you listening to right now? Disney Channel Games. Unfortunately.
21. What was the last thing you ate? Get a load of this: A black bean, cheese, artichoke heart quesadilla on a ww tortilla.
22. Do you wish on stars? Uhhh... why wouldn't you?
23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Navy blue for no other reason than that it is a great color
24. How is the weather right now? too hot for September, I'll tell you that
25. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? My sister
26. Favorite soft drink? Iced coffee or Diet Orange Soda.
27. Real hair color? Yes, always and forever.
28. What was your favorite toy as a child? I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world...
29. When was the last time you cried? Last night because I'm a big ol' sap
30. What is under your bed? A collapsed air mattress and my old violin
31. What did you do last night? Went to a Sunday School teachers meeting
32. What are you afraid of? Cockroaches and something happening to my children
33. Salty or sweet? salty
34. Favorite day of the week? Mondays
35. How many towns have you lived in? 7
36. Do you make friends easily? Yes
I'm struggling with blog fodder. But, I am a sucker for these e-mail forwards:
1. What time did you get up this morning? Red Fish got up at 5:45. Jerk.
2. Diamonds or pearls? Seriously, let me be in a position at some point in my life to be THAT picky...
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Does an IMAX at the children's museum count?
4. What is your favorite TV show? Numbers
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? Leftovers
6. What food do you dislike? Strange and unidentifiable meat items
7. Favorite sandwich? Name it. I could live on them...
8. Favorite item of clothing? Flip flops. Almost any and almost all.
9. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? Greece, for no apparent reason. It just sounds good. And, I identify with that bookish girl on Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants. Because I'm a dork like that.
10. Where would you retire to? A little slice of heaven called Clemson...
11. What was your most recent memorable birthday? My 30th rocked. Unfortunately, it was 5 birthdays ago...
12. Favorite sport to watch? Clemson football
13. Are you a morning person or a night person? Morning!
14. What is your shoe size? "In any good shoe I wear a 7, but an 8 feels so good, I usually buy a 9"
15. Pets? Sob...sob...gasp...sob...
16. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? The Scientist did indeed get the raise. Thanks for the good mojo on that, ladies!
17. What is your favorite candy? dark chocolate anything. The good stuff too...
18. What is your favorite flower? Whatever gets brought to my door in the vase or box
19. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? The day The Scientist returns
20. What are you listening to right now? Disney Channel Games. Unfortunately.
21. What was the last thing you ate? Get a load of this: A black bean, cheese, artichoke heart quesadilla on a ww tortilla.
22. Do you wish on stars? Uhhh... why wouldn't you?
23. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Navy blue for no other reason than that it is a great color
24. How is the weather right now? too hot for September, I'll tell you that
25. The first person you spoke to on the phone today? My sister
26. Favorite soft drink? Iced coffee or Diet Orange Soda.
27. Real hair color? Yes, always and forever.
28. What was your favorite toy as a child? I'm a Barbie girl, in a Barbie world...
29. When was the last time you cried? Last night because I'm a big ol' sap
30. What is under your bed? A collapsed air mattress and my old violin
31. What did you do last night? Went to a Sunday School teachers meeting
32. What are you afraid of? Cockroaches and something happening to my children
33. Salty or sweet? salty
34. Favorite day of the week? Mondays
35. How many towns have you lived in? 7
36. Do you make friends easily? Yes
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Am I Strong Enough?
Today begs only one question:
Am I strong enough to resist the temptation to watch the new 90210 on the CW tonight?
Probably not.
Certainly not.
Oh, the heck with it. Bust out the popcorn and the grunge wear. Kelly and Brenda are back.
Am I strong enough to resist the temptation to watch the new 90210 on the CW tonight?
Probably not.
Certainly not.
Oh, the heck with it. Bust out the popcorn and the grunge wear. Kelly and Brenda are back.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)