Notify the Big W

We're T minus 8 hours for departure. I've been getting this household ready to be uninhabited for two weeks (don't you wish you knew where I lived so you could safely come steal the veggies that will surely be growing in my garden?). The Mini (van) also required a two day trip to the spa before she would consent to such a voyage as I have planned. She's sooo high maintenance...

Bills have been paid, garden has been fertilized and the house cleaned (sort of- The Most Wonderful Woman in the World comes the day after we leave and the day after we come back, so no stress there). We're packed for two weeks, suitcases are in the car. Tide samples are included since I don't know anyone who has enough underwear and bras for two whole weeks. Kids CDs and DVDs are packed. Only their favorites, of course. Healthy (sort of) snacks are in their little baggies, ready for the trip and water and juice are chilling in the fridge. Mail has been stopped. Paper has been stopped. Vacation notice will be sent from Yahoo if you write.

Frosting for the boys' parties has been prepared (including the fondant, of course) and will be waiting in the fridge when I get back. Dogs bathed and extra flea treated in anticipation of their trip to the spa (vet). School supply list is finished (Except those darn baby wipes. I knew I forgot something!). Only two more loads of laundry to do before we are in a dirty-laundry-free zone.

My medicine bag prepares us for everything from tummy upset to narcotic-requiring-pain. As long as no one comes down with ebola, I think I have us covered. Birthday invites are addressed and waiting for The Scientist to stamp them and drop them in the mail before he flies out (please, please, please remember, Mr. Scientist). Fridge (almost) cleaned out. Camera card emptied. Dishwasher filled and running. Indulgent gifts for my four nieces and one nephew purchased and packaged adorably.

So, when someone gets around to it, would they kindly drop a line to ol' W? Someone needs to tell him that as soon as we're done monkeying around in Iraq, to let me know and I have a whole bunch of women who will gladly join me in finishing this thing up. I mean, this trouble over there can't be nearly as complicated as taking a family of five on a two week vacation (no offense to our service men and women, many of whom I know and adore, of course). I have a feeling that if you turned some of us loose over there, we'd have things finished up in no time and would leave the place ship-shape and with monogrammed handtowels hanging in the bathrooms. Don't you think?